A letter to Brian
by tigerlily89
Summary: Justin is in New York and decides to write a letter he never plans on sending.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own QAF, sadly…

A letter to Brian

Brian,

I know that you think going to New York was what was best for me. That it was what I needed to do to realize my dreams. You couldn't have been more wrong if you'd tried. I hate New York, and I always have. It's too, bright, too crowded. There are people everywhere, and I'm almost too afraid to walk out my front door. The only thing that keeps me going here is the thought that maybe, if I make enough of a name for myself, you'll let me come home. The problem with that is, I don't think I can make a name for myself here. It's too loud, and the lights give me headaches that make it impossible to work. It's like spending every second of my life in Babylon, but I can't leave. And you're not here to help me through them... They're getting worse... I should probably go to a doctor, but then you would find out because you insist on keeping me on your insurance. Anyway, back to what I was saying before. I hate New York. You think it's my dream to make a name for myself here, but it's not. It's Lindsay's dream, and she made you believe it was mine. I love to draw, I love to paint. But, when you make something you love your job, it becomes work and you don't love it as much anymore. I wanted to work, a real job, maybe in advertising, and that was before I even met you. Art was my hobby. I always thought that, maybe, I'd sell a few pieces, have a few shows, but I never wanted to be tied down by my art. I never wanted it to become a job. And then I did meet you, and I fell in love with you, but that didn't change my dreams, it only enriched them. I wanted to work, I wanted to paint, and I wanted to go to bed every night wrapped in your arms. Here, I have no dreams, I don't sleep because of the pounding in my head, and there isn't room for anything else. I have no art, I have no work, and I have no love. My dream of coming home each night to a husband who would fuck me six ways to Tuesday every night is gone, and my hand won't cooperate long enough to sketch, even with the computer. I'm miserable here, but I won't complain to you. I won't let in that I hate my new life, because you'd think I was weak. You would lose respect for me if I whined and couldn't tough it out here in the "Big Apple." I have unrealistic thoughts of you coming to rescue me. Of sweeping me off my feet and bringing me home, but it won't happen, and I'll never actually send this letter. That would be weak... But, maybe I will go to see that doctor...

That was where the letter ended, because that was where Justin set his pen down before he'd collapsed. His roommate had come home to find him sprawled on the floor and had called the ambulance and also called every number on Justin's emergency list. Brian Kinney's was the first number she dialed ...


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own QAF, if I did, Justin would not have gone to New York!! Damn them!

"Kinnetic Advertising, Cynthia speaking, how may I help you?" a woman's voice said.

"Um, my name is Katie, I need to speak to Brian Kinney, it's an emergency," the frightened young woman said.

"Mr. Kinney is in a meeting, you'll have to call back later," Cynthia said.

"No!" Katie exclaimed. "No, Justin is in the hospital, they need a list of his allergies right now, I can't find the one he keeps here. Does Mr. Kinney know Justin's allergies? Or, can you give me the number of someone who might?"

"Hold on one moment, I'll patch you straight through to Brian, stay on the line."

There was a moment of silence before she heard the phone pick up.

"Kinney, what do you want?" came the annoyed voice of Brian Kinney. Very few people had his direct line. 'It must be Mikey,' he thought. 'He probably wants to hang out.'

"Mr. Kinney? Brian Kinney?" a young girl's voice said.

"Yeah, that's me," he said.

"This is Katie Johnson, Justin's roommate. I need your help," she said.

Brian sat up straight. "Is Justin alright?" he asked, panicked.

"No, he's on his way to the hospital right now, the EMT said that if he'd never been to the hospital they're bringing him to that they'd need a list of his allergies . I know there are a lot of them, but the only ones I could remember are Tylenol and Codeine…" the girl said frantically.

Brian's heart stopped, but his body was on autopilot. "Give me the name of the hospital, I'll fax over a copy of his allergy list right away."

The girl gave him the name of the hospital and Cynthia, who had been standing at the door, took the paper from him almost before he'd finished writing it down. Brian knew that she'd handle it, and make sure the family knew what was going on.

"Okay, Katie, now I want you to go to the hospital alright? Justin is allergic to a lot of things but Tylenol is the worst. Not knowing his allergies they won't risk giving him morphine if he's in pain and they'll just give him Tylenol if he's in any kind of pain. I need you to make sure that doesn't happen alright?" Brian said, as he fumbled around shoving things in his desk and putting his jacket on.

"Okay Mr. Kinney. But I told the EMT that he was allergic to Tylenol and Codeine, so it should be alright. I'll go anyway though," Katie said.

"Okay, just stay with him, is he awake? Was he awake when he left in the ambulance?" Brian asked.

"No, when I got home I found him passed out on the floor near his desk and his nose was bleeding. I tried to wake him up but I couldn't so I called 911. I can't figure out what caused it, the only thing I found was a letter to you on the desk."

"Alright, go to the hospital, okay? Wait for any news, I'll send in the fax that they can tell you what's going on in my stead, okay? I'll be there in a few hours, as soon as I can get a plane and get to the hospital. Can you get to the hospital? Do you have a car or anything?" Brian said.

"No, I take the bus everywhere, or the train," Katie told him.

"Okay, call this number, 735-679-0561, and ask for Peter. Tell him Brian Kinney told you to call and that you need a ride to the hospital right away, okay? I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Okay, I'll do that, I'll go right now, bye Mr. Kinney."

"My name is Brian, and I'll see you later, just go watch over my Sunshine," Brian said, his voice catching on the last word.

"Okay Brian," Katie said, and then she hung up the phone.

Brian hung up his own phone, and rushed out of his office. "Cynthia! Get me on the next flight to New York. I don't care what it costs me, just get me on the next flight out! I'm going home to pack an overnight bag, have Ted call everyone and tell then where I went. As a matter of fact, make it the next flight with two seats, okay? I need to bring Jennifer with me, Molly won't mind staying with Deb for a few days." he said this all as he headed toward the front door, trusting Cynthia to do everything he asked. "Call me on my cell when you get the flight information."

As the door swung closed behind him Brian pulled out his cell phone and dialed Jennifer's number.

"Hello?" his would-be mother-in-law answered.

"Hey Jennifer, it's Brian, something's happened, you and I need to go to New York right away," he said, trying to remain calm.

"What's happened? Is there something wrong with Justin?" she asked, her voice slightly panicked.

"His roommate called, he's on his way to the hospital, she got home and found him unconscious on the floor with his nose bleeding. She couldn't wake him up so she called 911, and then called me because I was the first number on his emergency list. Call Deb and tell her Molly needs to stay with her for a few days, alright? I'm going home to pack a few things and then I'll run by your place to get you and Molly and we'll drop her off at Deb's. Pack enough for just a carry on. I'll be there in half and hour."

"Okay, I'll be ready." Jennifer said and then she hung up.

Brian opened the door to his car and got in. He tried to start it but his hands were shaking too badly so he stopped and rested his head on the steering wheel. He took a deep calming breath and tried again, managing to start the ignition. He drove out of Kinnetic's lot, a single tear falling from his eye.


End file.
